Tuesday, October 23, 2012

The Wish List

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Emily put together her Christmas list ALREADY and of course, there are quite a few things on there that just are not going to happen.  ;-)  I mean, we are not about to give up our bedroom and our vanity mirror to move to a much smaller room.  (LOL)!  A dog or puppy?  I don't think so, especially as she is struggling with her allergies as it is!

However, one of the items on her list was to spend more time as a close knit family who does fun stuff together.  Now, to be honest, I think we are pretty close as a family but I would agree with her that it hasn't been much fun around here the past year or so.  Every suggestion is usually met with, "We don't have the money for that."  And we really don't.  We make enough to just pay our bills and eat.  There is nothing left over.  

I do understand though that this can be hard for a 13 year old who has friends that are constantly going to the movies or shopping or to amusement parks.  Because we do not want to be in debt we do not own a single credit card.  So it's not as simple as charging it! It's a good lesson for her to learn at an early age that it's important not to be in debt and to save for special things.  

But with Emily, it's not so much the spending money as focused time.  This is a child who thrives on "togetherness".  I think some of the problem is that the boys are growing up and moving on with their lives.   Other than work, Nathan spends all of his awake hours at the firehouse.  Stephen is in college all day and then studying the rest of the time.  Both are at the age where a trip to the zoo is not something they want to do.  This has been an adjustment for all of us and she is feeling out of sorts.


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Even though it's just the three of us most of the time, I do know that we need to make a more concentrated effort to actually get out and find things to do that perhaps don't cost anything and are still fun.  I'm not about to run out and get a credit card so she can do fun things, but I also don't want her to look back on her life and feel like we sat around the house.

So Sunday afternoon after church, we did something that cost us some gas for the car and a snack at the store.  We went to a local lighthouse that has a nature trail and walked.  

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We talked.

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We enjoyed the water & scenery.

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It didn't take much.  Just some quality time together and really being focused on connecting.  I know I get so distracted with so many things.  So much of the problem is that I need to set aside everything and pay attention and fill Emily's emotional tank.

She's not hard to please.  A little bit of our time and energy is all it takes to put her world back in order!

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Most children do not require a whole lot to be happy.  Just feeling connected and valued and loved is all it takes and they feel secure!

2 comments:

  1. Why is is harder to do this now that the older ones are growing/grown? I'm finding the same thing over here. The free things to do were easier to find when they were all young. Or maybe it's just me!?!

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  2. What a great way to spend time together. The lighthouse is beautiful and it looked like the day was great also. I'm sure you'll find more ways to spend "quality" time together.
    Have a great week!

    Coleen

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