Sunday, December 16, 2012
This morning we lit the candle of joy in our advent wreath at church. I had something all written out which I read but I really can't bring myself to post it here. It just really seemed to fall flat this morning.
I just feel heavy sadness. Sadness for the parents who are experiencing gut-wrenching grief right now. Sadness for the family of the young man who took these lives as well as his own. He has a family that has been ripped apart by this. Sadness for families of the teachers - their parents, husbands/wives, and children.
I also feel sadness at those who feel the need to bring up "issues" right now. To point fingers. To say all the wrong things at the wrong time.
Grief has wound it's heavy fingers around this holiday.
I'm sure God may have felt some of that same grief as He released His son into the world, knowing that He would be crucified.
The Christmas story is generally surrounded with joy and delight, but perhaps it is more about grief. The price of a gift freely given, by a God who loved us so much that He sacrificed His son to save us. The grief of a mother, giving birth to a son who ultimately was not her own and would die an untimely death.
As Mary pondered all these things in her heart, I'm sure there was a bit of fear there as well. Fear of uncertainty of her Son's future.
Grief has changed me this week, but grief is a process that we all need to work through. It's keeping my focus on where it should be right now. Not on the packaging and presents and parties, but on the Father and the cost of His gift to me.