Thursday, June 18, 2015
Broken and Tattered
When I was a child, I thought that butterflies had dust on their wings. Someone told me that if you touched a butterfly's wings and the dust came off, they couldn't fly anymore. I have since found out that the dust is actually microscopic scales that give the wings their color. The scales do come off if you touch the wings but in fact, butterflies can have up to 75% of their wings broken or tattered and still fly away.
The same is true of humans. We can sustain considerable damage from another and still carry on. But it's difficult. Words from another can cause hurt, and damage us enough that we fly crooked.
My son, Nathan, is struggling and I've been concerned because he is becoming more and more depressed because of the unkindness of others at work. They tell him daily that he is too slow, that he is stupid, and that he is going to get "coached" (Walmart's word for those who aren't doing their job well) if he doesn't move faster. He only gets three coachings a year or he gets fired. He is becoming more unsure of himself and starting to doubt that he can do anything. All because he has disabilities. Because it takes him longer to process things than others. Because his working memory is very low so he forgets things from time to time. And anxiety is only going to make this worse so of course, he is moving slower.
Then he also hears daily from these workers that his dad is a crook because he is a pastor. That he is ripping people off and that all ministers are running a scam. This doesn't bother me or Dan, but for Nathan it is terrible to have someone ripping apart his father. He is told that if he can't think quickly on the job then how can he be a firefighter? So, he is also doubting himself on the fire department and yet, that is the very thing that started giving him so much confidence. We remind him of this daily. We tell him that he wouldn't have earned firefighter of the year or been elected a lieutenant on his last department if he wasn't competent.
But these words are causing damage to Nathan. He can still function and move forward, but it's with great difficulty. We are working on rectifying this situation, but it's going to take time and in the meantime, his wings are damaged. He is flying crooked. He is struggling.
But I am thankful that we serve a God who has Nathan's life in His hands. He knows the plans He has for Nathan and they are good. So his father and I are trusting the Lord for Nathan.
He has grown into a butterfly and though his wings may be broken and tattered, he is still flying!