Monday, June 1, 2015

Multitude Monday

There are times when I want to kick myself really hard in the behind.  And I'm really glad I can't reach it! 

The times I feel that way generally have to do when I feel like I've been too transparent.  When I've shared too much.  When I'm embarrassed about opening up and feel like people just stare at me and think, "Who cares?"  Or they are thinking, "She shouldn't struggle."  Or even worse, when I think they view me as weak for sharing.

But even as a little girl, God has given me a soft heart and a desire to grow and a willingness to humble myself and admit, "I struggle."  "I don't have it all together."  "I need prayer."

And just when I'm feeling the most insecure about being vulnerable, someone will tell me, "Thank you for sharing."  "That helped me."  "I struggle with that same thing."  God reminds me that my willingness to admit that I'm not perfect actually helps someone else.

So even though I truly am careful with what I share, I'm going to choose to not be embarrassed about being open and broken when directed by the Holy Spirit.  My desire is to grow closer to the Lord in my walk.  To point people to Jesus.  To be His vessel.

Psalm 51:16-17 (NLT) ~

You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
You do not want a burnt offering.
The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit....

You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

This week I'm also thankful for blessings #2456 - 2465.

2456.  A fun night out with family.

2457.  Warm weather, sunshine and life blooming everywhere I look.

2458.  A beautiful rainbow after a storm.

2459.  Getting to spend a few hours with my cousin and her daughter.

2460.  Pulling together a fun party for my daughter.  They had a great time.  They spent most of the night playing games outside in the rain.

2461.  Realizing I need to cut back on a few things. I decided not to do the farmer's market this summer. When I added up what I made compared to what I spent and my time, it seemed the obvious choice.

2462.  A beautiful prayer time at church.

2463. Visiting with my husband and praying with a friend in the hospital.

2464. Much needed rain.

and finally...

2465. A broken and contrite heart.