Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Within My Four Walls
As a mom, my heart strings are tied to my children. I love them with all my heart and while I'd love to say that I'm a wonderful mother, there are times when I fail miserably. I have the above plaque in my house and yet, there are so many times when I don't exemplify these words at all. Last night was one of those times.
I wounded one of my children with my words. Instead of offering encouragement, I offered criticism. Instead of being calm and kind, I yelled and lashed out. Instead of noticing improvement in an area, I pointed out every fault. I caused incredible hurt to one who is already hurting. And that isn't the first time I've done that with one of my kids.
I know that while I've gotten much better, I still quite regularly repeat patterns of behavior that I saw as a child and yet, that is no excuse. I need to learn new patterns. I must walk with different habits. I have to do better.
We calmed down eventually, talked it out, and asked forgiveness of each other. We cried and prayed together. But the storm left me with a sick feeling in my heart, knowing that I emotionally knocked the wind out of my child's sails. Family should be where you can feel safe and secure.
However, I also realize that God extends forgiveness to me as well and today is a new day. I'm asking Him to help me not to continue being a reactive volcano. It's hard. But I don't react that way to those outside my family so I know it can be done. I want to reflect Christ to all I meet and that includes my husband and children.
My desire is to walk my talk not just outside my four walls but within them as well.