My heart is heavy today for a number of reasons. One of the big reasons is that I'm finding it hard to wrap my brain around the fact that our state passed a vote yesterday to allow late-term abortions up to 9 months old for any reason. It's such an evil world we live in and it makes wish Christ would return soon. What kind of society cares more for animals than they do for babies?
Stephen is anticipating a rejection for yet another job as he found out last night that they didn't call any of his references and my heart is hurting for him. He is being dropped from our health insurance at the end of February and the cost of insurance is ridiculous for someone who has no income at the moment and our government requires him to have it. Nathan turned in all of his fire gear and officially resigned from the local department and that hurts too as it was something that once brought him such pleasure. Then I took Emily to the doctor yesterday and my 19-year-old was diagnosed with fibrocystic breast disease. It's non-cancerous, and more of a condition than an actual disease, but still a lot to deal with.
It's enough to make me want to pull the covers up over my head in despair. But I'm a strong woman and I don't do that. Instead, I have a good cry and then get back up and keep moving forward. I keep trusting that God is going to work all my personal situations out. And in the larger picture of the evil that is in the world, I also believe as Job 19:25 says, "I know that my Redeemer lives and in the end He will stand on the earth."
It's only Wednesday but feels like an entire week has gone by in just a few days. I've kept busy with different household activities. I've baked bread, delivered a cookie platter, made broth from a chicken carcass, made meals, and found a nifty way to get scorch marks off the bottom of a pot (1 part water to 1 part vinegar and let simmer for a while). I've done laundry, gone grocery shopping, visited a friend in the hospital, sat for 2 1/2 hours at the doctor's office, had a meeting, vacuumed and done countless dishes.
They've kept my hands busy but I also kept my mind busy by praying for these situations. The gray weather and frozen landscape cause it to feel like winter in my heart too, but I know spring will be here before I know it. Circumstances change and things get better eventually.
Even though my circumstances can cause me concern, I have Christ in my heart and my hope rests in Him. And that brings me joy every single day! And God has never failed me and He will do it again.