Yesterday was such a good day. It started out extremely early at 4 a.m. but the humidity had dropped and it was a beautiful, sunny day. My knee is doing fantastically well, despite what I thought a couple of days post-surgery.
I can bend it and the pain I did have is lessening each day. I can go up stairs starting with the bad knee and it doesn't hurt or give out. There is still a bit of tightness and stiffness within the knee, but that is lessening each day. It's almost too good to be true! I am being careful and making sure I sit and put it up every so often, but it is so nice to have a knee that is actually working.
For the first time in months I was able to carry the basket of wet clothes outside to hang them up (it's been too heavy to carry with the bad knee). I baked and had a couple of friends over for lunch. I stripped the beds and remade them. I decluttered an area in my sunroom where all the things from my last retreat had been dumped and never put away. It was wonderful!
I walked around my yard last night and took some pictures and it was wonderful to see what's going on in the yard and flower beds. One thing is a whole lot of weeds, but I'm not up to tackling those yet.
As I look at my path going forward I know that I need to work on trying to get this house back into some order. There is a layer of dust over furniture. My kitchen should get deep cleaned and a few other rooms straightened. I still haven't painted Emily's room which I've wanted to do.
I mentioned the other day that I need to fight down the urge to plunge into "things" and what I meant by that is unnecessary activity. I need to concentrate on writing my papers, praying, and figuring out a ministry plan for the fall. All ministry programs have stopped for the summer and I'm looking and evaluating them to see how I can better streamline them and get others involved.
Someone told me the other night that the teens should get together this summer because they miss each other and I immediately felt guilty that I took a break. However, I fought down that feeling because I need to break that cycle. I cannot be everything to everyone.
When I try and do everything I end up enabling people to expect all types of programs but not participate in any of them. I am at the point in my life and ministry where I need to focus on mentoring, leading, and teaching and be less about running a program. I need to work smarter and that means stop doing it all myself and train others to grow in their spiritual gifts and own ministry.
That means if I don't have someone to run a program and lead, then it does not happen! It doesn't mean that I have to be the one to lead it. I have to fight down the feeling that if I don't run a program that somehow I am responsible if the church fails. And really, why am I putting that type of pressure on myself? Crazy! As I look back at my own life and also at the biggest growth in both myself and others, it has come through relationships and not programs.
I would like to get to the point where I can be comfortable with that and be able to lead the things I truly am passionate about. For me, that is developing relationships and through my ministry of hospitality and encouragement. This means I'm have to self-adjust my path going forward.
One thing that being laid up with knee issues has done for me is bring me to the point where God can start hammering some of these things home to me. It's not easy and it makes me uncomfortable a lot of the time, but it's necessary.
Onward and upward!