Raising Mature and Godly Kids

Dan & I were asked to speak at our homeschool support group last Tuesday night. The subject was preparing our children for life. This is a scary topic! The reason we were asked was the leader happens to teach the boys at their homeschool co-op finance class and she noted their maturity compared to some of the other children. She also commented on the fact that the children seem to have a vision for church planting and we are unified as a family in this area.

I would love to take total credit for this but I'm afraid Dan & I can't take it all. I believe that much of my children's maturity comes from the fact that they deal with so many things that most kids never have to. Nathan is severely learning disabled, has short stature, and Tourette's Syndrome. Stephen has generalized anxiety disorder. Emily has severe food and environmental allergies. Those are some heavy duty things for children to deal with.

The very fact that they have to deal with these issues has forced us to draw together as a family and has produced a maturity in them that only God can bring about.

There are some things we have done as parents that I think have contributed to them being the type of kids they are.

1. Early training - we started training our children from the time they were very little. We let them know what was expected of them and then followed through every single time. If we said, "No" we meant it. I've seen parents say no and the child starts whining and carrying on and they give in to the child. Who is in charge in this situation?

2. Love - we love our children. We tell them often both verbally and with hugs. My teenage boys tell me they love me every single day. I think this is because we have always made a point of this.

3. We are together - even when the children were in school, we always spent time together as a family. We did ministry together. We have always included our children in what we do. They helped us set up for English as a Second Language classes when we were in the city. They help us set up for events we have in our current church. We are in full-time ministry but we know the importance of keeping our priorities straight. Dan spends time with each of the children on a daily basis.

4. Family devotions - we do family devotions together. We talk about the Bible all the time. How does it apply to our lives? How does it apply to what we say and do? We pray together and have the children take turns praying. We wrestle with hard questions.

5. Politeness - we have taught our children from an early age to be polite. Look people in the eye when you talk to them. Respond to people when they speak. Shake people by the hand when you first meet them. I taught in a Christian school last year and it was very annoying to have children and teens either not respond when you spoke to them or grunt at you. My children are very shy and this does not come easily to them yet they have learned to do it.

6. Grace - we forgive our children when they mess up. We ask their forgiveness when we mess up. We don't expect perfection from children. We have high standards but you know what, they are children. I mess up as an adult quite frequently so how can I expect my children to be perfect? God gives us grace and mercy all the time so we do the same for our children.

Dan & I are far from being excellent parents. We make many mistakes but we do try to do a good job at what the Lord has given us. We praise Him for the way our children are turning out. They are becoming responsible young adults that we are proud of.