Time Goes Marching On

I find that no matter how much I may wish for things to slow down that time just keeps marching on. This is especially true in my role of motherhood. I loved having babies, toddlers, preschoolers and young children. However, no matter how much you want them to stay little, children grow up and change. And I really don't want to perpetually stay in the baby stage anyway. I'm actually enjoying this new stage of having young adults.

Once I got past the "still treating them like children" part of motherhood, I find that I like having young adults that I can talk to on the same level. They make me think, cause me to laugh and yes, send me to my knees in prayer often too. Every now and then I slip back into "mothering" and "correcting" mode and that causes a bit of friction, but those fireworks are getting less and less.

I've been learning to take an interest in some of the things they are interested in. For example, Stephen loves all things sports and he and Dan talk incessantly about football. So I decided I might as well cave in and learn to enjoy it. I knew I had reached the turning point when it was on the television the other day. Dan and the boys had to go somewhere mid-game, and after sitting and watching for about an hour it occurred to me that no one else was home and why was I still watching? lol!!!

Emily facetimed me yesterday to show me chicken separated out into freezer bags and in marinades. She was meal-prepping so that she could pull a meal out of the freezer at a later date and cook it and had a couple of questions for me. Later on, I saw a picture of her dinner she posted. I'm happy to see her managing her money and being frugal in her planning. I never ate like that when I was in college!

Nathan still loves Legos and every now and then he gets on a hyper-focused few days of building with them when he's not working. Some of that is being on the spectrum, and it drives me a little batty to hear the digging through Legos. But I'm thankful that he has a hobby that doesn't require him sitting in front of a screen constantly. He bought a book of Vietnam War models made with Legos and he has been recreating those. Every now and then he emerges from his room to show us.

This is his bedroom floor when he has them all dumped out!

I'm enjoying conversing with my kids on a different level and hearing their viewpoints. I don't always agree, but am learning to just listen without the need to correct constantly. I think one of the best things Dan and I did as parents was to keep the lines of communication open. Our kids tell us everything and aren't afraid to approach us. They think very differently than I do on some issues, but I've come to respect their opinions.

I talk very freely with them about some of the mistakes I have made and I apologize when I'm wrong or when I was wrong. I think that some of the reason we are able to talk about anything is that Dan and I try to respond with respect though to be honest, I'm not always successful with this.

Time keeps marching on as is evidenced by my gray hairs and arthritis-bent fingers, but I'm learning to enjoy each new stage that comes. 

With grown children, we can look back at both our mistakes and what we did well in our parenting, having conversations with a greater degree of honesty than was possible before. In getting older themselves, our adult children may begin to comprehend the burdens and strengths we carried from our own parents.

~ Wendy Lustbader