Down an Old Familiar Road

We are on the cusp of Easter, and this year it has suddenly become a difficult one. I have no plans for tomorrow other than going to church in the morning. We will see what the afternoon holds.

On Thursday night, my mother-in-law took a turn for the worse and developed a high fever. She has an infection, the sepsis is back, and the pressure wound on her ankle has not healed and is open down to the tendons. Yesterday, she was put on hospice care and it's now a waiting game. Her pain is being managed and she is provided comfort, but no other medical intervention will be happening.

I've been down this road before with my own mother and it's hard. And this decision stirred up memories of that terrible time 5 years ago. It's difficult to know how long it will be and it's hard to make decisions of any kind about anything. I was on my way to go for a walk at my favorite place yesterday when Dan called me. He told me to go ahead and finish the walk and when I got home he'd leave to see his parents (we only have one car). I stayed home and managed the Good Friday event at our church. But my walk was short as I couldn't enjoy it at all.

While this is a difficult time, she has lived a long and full life. As my nephew said, "If there was a factory that churned out the best grandma's, she would have been made in it)!" She was a wonderful mother, mother-in-law and grandmother. Her biggest joy was serving her family and she will leave a huge hole in all of our lives.

So while I've been here before and I'm grieving, my greatest desire is to help my husband and his siblings through the impending loss of their mom.

This road is hard, but it's familiar. And because I've walked it before I'm better able to navigate this one.