Rest and Renewal

If any of you have read my blog long enough you may realize that I'm not known for my rest. In fact, the words I hear from so many in my life is, "You are so busy." And those four little words have started to bother me.

They are bothering me because that is not what I want to be known for in my life. I don't want people to think that I'm too busy to have a conversation with them or that I don't have time for a connection. 

But if I continually project the word, "busy," then I really can't get too upset when I feel alone. I don't have to necessarily stop all the things I'm doing though I am looking at what is necessary and what is not. God has given me a fairly high capacity to handle many things. 

However, I do realize that I'm not always good at being present and focusing on the person I'm talking to at that moment. I find that I have a tendency to jump up in the middle of a conversation to go do something that needs doing. The more that I repeat this pattern, the less of an ability I'm having to focus on the person in front of me.

We were on vacation last week and for the first time that I can remember, I disconnected for the week. That meant I tried to not answer emails (I did send a few at the end of the week because I have an event this coming weekend). I rescheduled appointments to a different week. I tried not to talk about ministry. I focused on my husband. And it was wonderful. 

I feel rested and renewed. I feel ready to tackle this week. I found that my creativity was re-sparked. 

I've also reworked my calendar and have blocked off chunks of time each week. Time to be present with God and my own self care. Time to be with people and intentionally focus on them. Time to work on projects that I normally don't because I allow all the other things to steal my time. And then I've also scheduled in prep time time to answer emails and texts, phone calls and other activities. 

Most of my life has been spent in that last block. I'm at the beck and call of everyone. Every time I get an email or text or message I have this internal pressure to answer it the second I get it because it relieves stress for me. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them. I pride myself on "getting it done" and answering that call gets it off my list. Over time that has worn me down and I've also trained others to know that I will answer no matter what time of day or night it is. I get texts at 5 in the morning and I get texts at 11 at night and 99% of them are not emergencies or urgent. This is no one's fault, but mine. I have created this.

So I'm deliberately setting aside a half an hour in the morning, at noon and in the late afternoon to answer these things. And that has been really hard for me to retrain myself! But it's important if I don't want to get to the point of burnout. I find it's not my projects that wear me down it's the 24/7 being available that is starting to cause stress.

This week was a good one because I disconnected and rested. But I also reconnected with my husband and myself. We spent time hiking.

We went to an aquarium.

We spent our 38th anniversary at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, reliving our early years.

We walked on the beach.

We went out to eat, went to a bookstore, hiked 20 miles, read and relaxed, watched World Cup games and had long talks. 

I did set up at the farmer's market on Saturday, but even that was enjoyable as I sat and read a book in between visiting with people.

I did some sewing.

The week was a bookend of family events - a Father's Day gathering at the beginning and celebrating my niece's graduation at the end.

I'm starting this morning slowly and this will be the first week that I really implement these blocks of time within my normal activity. But I think it will be a good way to make sure I'm making the important things priority.

I am thankful.