Friday, April 20, 2012

When Your Husband Doesn't Measure Up

I've been debating whether I should post this or not but I think it needs to be said!  I recently saw the movie, Courageous and enjoyed it.  However, as I watched it this unsettled feeling came over me.   While it was a good movie and a good message about husbands stepping up and being the men God called them to be, I thought, "What about those women who have husbands that don't act like this?" 

I'm not talking about husbands who are hanging out in bars at night or having affairs or are negligent fathers.  I'm talking about Christian men who are good and decent husbands and fathers, but are more laid back and passive.  I can see the danger of women holding the men in a movie like this as the standard their husbands need to achieve.  It is so easy to watch this movie and start feeling dissatisfied with your man.  He may not be measuring up to the ideal in your mind.

You may start asking yourself, "Why doesn't my husband lead family devotions?"  "Why doesn't he stand up to my father/mother/sister/brother/etc. and defend me?"   "If he were really following the Lord, he would pray with me every night."  "If he were only like Jane's husband, then we'd have a good marriage."

I can tell you right now that my husband does not have an interest in watching this movie.  I also know that if I suggested some sort of ceremony like they did in the movie where he stands in front of everyone, taking a vow to be a better husband and father, it would not go over well!  He also is a peace keeping, non-confrontational man so I don't think I'd ever see him getting up in someone's face who was bothering me.  Does that make him an ungodly husband and father?  Not at all!  

He is a great husband and loves me with all his heart.  He is a wonderful father to his children.  He is an example to his sons and daughter.  He is faithful.  He is passionate about following God.  He is wise and kind and responsible.  BUT, he does not lead with the stereotypical demeanor that many Christian women equate with being a strong leader.  In fact, many women might think my husband is weak or passive or too easy going.

But that is the way God made him.  God is using him for the family that was given to Dan.  He is leading his family with the personality and qualities that were given to him.  And I married him, knowing those qualities.  I chose him knowing that he was a peace loving, easy going, laid back type of guy.  So why in the world would I want him to be different? 

Be careful ladies!  Don't let discontentment start to work it's way in you.  Don't start measuring your husband against a fictitious character or another woman's husband.  Be content with the husband you have.  Let him be the man that God made him to be.

Start praying for your husband.  Pray that God would help you love your husband AS HE IS!  If you do this and don't constantly pick him apart, you may find he measures up exactly to the type of man you want!