A New Chapter
It's been a rocky kind of year here with lots of changes. For those of you who don't know me, I hate change! It makes me feel very unsettled and down.
I find myself in the position of having 2 more adult men in the house and a teenage girl. My role has changed and there are many days when I blow it big time!
There are two men who come and go as they need to. They have schedules that do not revolve around our family. They've outgrown so many of the traditions we've done in the past or their schedules don't allow them to participate.
Then there is a daughter who is growing up and has a changing body and the hormones to go with it. She's not a little girl anymore and I have to keep remembering to stop treating her that way.
There are days when I feel frustrated and angry when I go through this dance with the boys, trying to figure out a different way to say something so they won't feel I'm babying them. Other days, it's difficult dealing with a daughter who has raging hormones while I myself, am starting that stage of life when my own hormones are raging! I feel sad and a loss as I realize that things we used to do aren't working anymore and so I must retire that activity.
So I'm floundering and trying to find my way in this new territory.
There are good things that come with this though.
♥ Our conversations are on an adult to adult level quite regularly.
♥ I'm seeing their own hopes and dreams surfacing and being lived out.
♥ I can see the fruits of our labors over the years. Some of the character qualities we've tried to instill in them are actually coming out of them!
♥ I have another young lady in the house who is maturing and becoming a good companion.
♥ I have two extra drivers to help with things. ;-)
♥ It keeps me on my knees in prayer and that is always a good thing.
So while this change is not all good; it is necessary. And as is so often the case, life goes on and I must change with it!
I'd love to talk about this over lunch sometime, Terri. It was an interesting process for me, too, when my two boys were becoming men with their own schedules, and I had a teenage daughter in transition at the same time. It can be rocky, for sure, but it is also a sign that you have raised and trained them well and they are all transitioning to responsible adulthood. Sometimes I think that is more of an adjustment for us than for them.
ReplyDeleteTerri - I know exactly how you feel. It is definitely a struggle. Enjoy the changes and appreciate you are still fortunate to have them all at home. Two of my 3 girls are in other states. It's very hard not having them pop in anytime and it's especially hard during the holidays. Thanks to modern technology we're able to skype with them. Love it when the phone rings and one of them is at the other end. I'm sure you'll adjust. I know it's hard to accept sometimes but they do grow up. What in the world did we do????
ReplyDeleteAh...change. "Change isn't always good, but no change is always bad." I cling to that when too much around me is changing too fast!
ReplyDeleteShe's growing into a beautiful young lady, Terri!
((((hugs)))) xxx
ReplyDeleteI have been struggling with my 9 year old getting older, becoming more independent, and voicing her opinion A LOT! It's so hard to remember that she is not 4 or 5 and that I need to be teaching her how to be a young lady, but that requires me letting her making some of her own decisions. Knowing where the boundaries are as I enter this new phase in parenting has been difficult.
ReplyDeleteWe also have 3 other younger children and my husbands 14 year old daughter. This brings a whole new set of challenges because her mom's house it completely opposite of ours and not in a good way.
Trying to balance all of this pushes me to the edge.
Thank you for your transparency and for blogging about it. I am so encouraged, but your words. I may not comment often, but I read your blog a lot.
You are an amazing example :)
I don't know if it is at all cheering...but it does get better later!
ReplyDeleteI can second Elizabeth :)
ReplyDeleteL.x.
I can relate...we have been dealing with changes in our home too, I didn't think that having our oldest daughter marry and move out would effect it much, but it has!
ReplyDeleteOh, the joys of parenting! :)
Blessings!
~Nadine
I was where you are at a few years ago, my boys now are men 27,20 and my daughter married this year, many of the church traditions we followed, now are difficult with shift work etc, but i go it alone, and i remember such a time before the children came along, so i have learnt to adapt to accept, i find change difficult too, i know the Lord gave my children to us for a little time to make them the people they are, i know that one day one of them will be sitting right along side me again in church, and i will see them using our traditions with their children as they grow up, i pray and trust in God. My husband and i have realised that we will soon just be us two again and we spend more quality time together building our relationship so we are ready for the next phase of our lives together. Do not weep for what was but look to what will be.
ReplyDeleteGod bless sue
You are blessed that they are all still at home and doing well. The changes you are going through are preparing you for the "empty nest". :-)
ReplyDeleteGod is good,
Debbi