Writing Encouragement
Emily loves to write stories and comes up with quite elaborate ones. This is her newest attempt and she already has two chapters. I told her that I would share the first chapter here. There are some grammar mistakes, but I'm not to concerned with them at this point since my main goal is to encourage the love of writing in her. I think she did a pretty good job for a 13 year old! She loves the fantasy genre so it certainly has a bit of the Lord of the Rings style mixed in there. lol
I know she would appreciate a word or two of encouragement.
I know she would appreciate a word or two of encouragement.
The Beginning
It was dark as the castle door shut
behind me. I was here to see Aaradel. He was the king of this region. I was
here to deliver an important message. The guards led me to the throne room. As
I entered I bowed before him. He told me to rise so I did.
“My lord,
there has been sightings of goblins off the north shore
of Panagrea.”
He stood
up.
“Have they
reached the village yet?”
“No but
they are near. I have already given the order for them to evacuate and my army
is standing by.”
I was in charge of the army and I
had fought many battles and won. So destroying these few goblins would be easy
right? Was I ever wrong!
“Good. Rianna,
I need you to gather all your men and host a attack.”
“Yes, my
Lord.”
“Be
careful.”
“Yes.”
I bowed and left the room. I was to
be married to his son in five months. I was going to be Queen, but, for some
reason I wasn’t excited. Probably
because I hated the king’s child-like son, Riven .
As I got to the stable I jumped on
my horse, Recleana, meaning “God of Fury” in my language. I made a low whistle
and off we took riding in the night. The wind was blowing my hair into my face
and covering my eyes but I didn’t care. I approached my village and jumped off
my horse. She ran into the woods to her home. I have tried many times to find
her home without success. She is the only one of her kind, and I am the only
one she trusts and only comes if I call her.
I went into the army tent and
gathered my men. We went over a battle plan and decided to fight right away.
Twenty of my men would approach each side of the goblins. We would let none
escape and take no prisoners.
All the men
cheered and got ready. All around me was the sound of swords sharpening, and
horses neighing. Men were gearing up and choosing swords. When everyone was
ready I split the men into three groups and chose who would be with me. I put
two of my best men to lead each of the other groups. I then went out of the
village and called my horse.
“Recleana!” I called. After about a
minute a heard a nicker in reply. My beautiful white horse appeared like an
apparition. I patted my horse and gave her a tidbit. I pulled my cloak around
me and mounted.
The night air was chilly and the
full moon was out. When I was a child, telling ghost stories around the fire
was my favorite thing, but now was not the time to remember the past. I
squeezed my eyes shut and pushed the memories back into my head.
I rode back into the village and
got my torch. We were going to burn the
bodies in the end, and we also needed to see. Several men were holding torches
and lanterns. We rode out each group being led by a different leader. We rode
off, each group in “stealth mode.” As we approached the goblin camp I pulled
out my sword. Despite the darkness the sword glowed like it was hit by a ray of
sunlight.
“Charge!” I
shouted. My heart was pumping and butterflies flew around my stomach. The
battle had started and horses and their riders came closing in from all sides.
The battle was a success so far. All around me the air filled with noises of
swords clashing, and everywhere I looked bodies were falling. There were only a
couple of goblins left, but, then everything changed. There was another wave of
goblins and there were more of them than us. My men started to fall and there were
far too many of them.
“Retreat!”
I cried. I drew back and led my army away.
As teacher, I love the fact that your dear daughter enjoys creative writing! Great start, Emily!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for Part 2!!!!!! Great job, Emily!! My daughter took creative writing in college and loved it. She is a first grade teacher now and writes on the side.
ReplyDeleteGod bless, Kathy in Illinois
I enjoyed your first chapter, Emily and can't wait to read what's coming next! You are doing a great job and I hope that you will keep writing. You are a chip of the old block...meaning your mom, of course!
ReplyDeleteAwesome job Emily! I really enjoyed reading this and would love to read more, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
~Nadine
Oh my goodness, you can't leave it there Terri...we need part two!! xx
ReplyDeleteWel, Emily, as a retired teacher I would say that you have made a very interesting start on your story. You have used some good descriptive sentences, and have given the feel and atmosphere of the battle scene..
ReplyDeleteWell done Emily - keep it up.
ReplyDeletePraying for Connecticut x