Picking Up My Cross Daily
I find it interesting in my life how God usually will take an event or exciting happening and use it to keep me grounded in Him. My desire has always been to follow Him, to serve Him, and to live my life for Him. Yet, so often, "I" get in the way!
Even in the midst of writing this book, and the release of it yesterday, I found that I had to keep coming back to the Lord. This morning I needed to ask His forgiveness for the feelings of self-pity and resentment that popped up. Why?
Instead of just being happy that I was faithful in doing the thing I felt Him leading me to do, I started looking at people. Who congratulated me and who didn't. Why did this family member say absolutely nothing? Why did that church member ignore the fact that this was a huge accomplishment? Why didn't this friend acknowledge me?
Terrible, isn't it? Sigh.
These are emotions and feelings that raise their ugly head from time to time. Feelings of insecurity and inferiority bubble up and out. And yet, isn't insecurity and inferiority really just a different form of selfishness and pride?
This morning I read from Luke 9, and verse 27, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." Following Jesus means that I need to constantly quell this desire to be noticed and important. It's not about me. It's about the Lord and doing His will.
My desire is to follow Christ daily. That means I need to pick up the cross that has such deep meaning. The cross that symbolizes humility and servitude and sacrifice. The cross that led to the ultimate sacrifice.
I wish I could say that I don't struggle with this. I really want to say that I walk in perfect humility all the time. But I wouldn't be telling the truth. I fail quite regularly.
In my service to Christ, I want to keep Him first. I want to lift the Lord up and point people to Him. I want to get out of the way so that people can see Him.
Which means that I must pick up that cross on a daily basis, keep my eyes on Jesus, and keep taking one step at a time.
Terri, welcome to the world of writing! You are right. It isn't about you. It's about obedience to God's call to write. He's the only one you have to please. Oh, could I tell you some horror stories. I had a Christian throw my book in the floor and say, no one will read this. Now it's a best seller. Fix your eyes on Jesus!!! His cross is heavy and delightful!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Oh my word, Elaine! I don't know what I would do in that situation. It definitely is a process to daily stay grounded in the Lord and keep my eyes on Him. Thank you! Love you too!
Delete...but also remember that you are only human too!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I know that all to well, Barbara!! :-)
DeleteYes, Terri, I was going to say the same thing as Elizabeth....."remember you are human". And don't feel alone, I struggle with some of these same issues and I feel so guilty and weak during these times. At least, you know your weaknesses and are able to admit them. Only one who loves Jesus with her hold heart and lives to serve Him only would admit she is weak. Remember...Jesus loves you and so do I.
ReplyDeleteDebbi
Thank you, Debbi.
Delete... and if for one moment you said that you DO walk in perfect humility and have none of these ugly... but oh so totally human... feelings... your words would have no real power and your encouragement would simply be empty words... It is because you are humand and because you share so transparently that God entrusted you with writing the words in your Devotional... and as His beautiful daughter you have surely shared HIS heart and THAT is more than enough... and those seeds will fall where they are meant to fall... and they will bear fruit which YOU may never know of here on earth. But I can bet you will someday! I love your honesty! There are more than enough blogs out there that sparkle and glow so much that they hurt the eyes... ;-) Yours is honest. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteGracegirl, thank you so much for those kind words. They were encouraging to me today! :-) I hope your weekend is blessed!
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