Saturday, April 6, 2013

Picking Up My Cross Daily

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I find it interesting in my life how God usually will take an event or exciting happening and use it to keep me grounded in Him.  My desire has always been to follow Him, to serve Him, and to live my life for Him.  Yet, so often, "I" get in the way!  

Even in the midst of writing this book, and the release of it yesterday, I found that I had to keep coming back to the Lord.  This morning I needed to ask His forgiveness for the feelings of self-pity and resentment that popped up.  Why?

Instead of just being happy that I was faithful in doing the thing I felt Him leading me to do, I started looking at people.  Who congratulated me and who didn't.  Why did this family member say absolutely nothing?  Why did that church member ignore the fact that this was a huge accomplishment?  Why didn't this friend acknowledge me? 

Terrible, isn't it?  Sigh.

These are emotions and feelings that raise their ugly head from time to time.  Feelings of insecurity and inferiority bubble up and out.  And yet, isn't insecurity and inferiority really just a different form of selfishness and pride?

This morning I read from Luke 9, and verse 27, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."   Following Jesus means that I need to constantly quell this desire to be noticed and important.  It's not about me.  It's about the Lord and doing His will. 

My desire is to follow Christ daily.  That means I need to pick up the cross that has such deep meaning.  The cross that symbolizes humility and servitude and sacrifice.  The cross that led to the ultimate sacrifice.

I wish I could say that I don't struggle with this.  I really want to say that I walk in perfect humility all the time.  But I wouldn't be telling the truth.  I fail quite regularly.

In my service to Christ, I want to keep Him first. I want to lift the Lord up and point people to Him.  I want to get out of the way so that people can see Him.

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Which means that I must pick up that cross on a daily basis, keep my eyes on Jesus, and keep taking one step at a time.