Thursday, June 27, 2013
I'll Keep the Lights On
I've always wanted my house to be a welcoming one. One where my family knows they are loved and wanted. One where they know there is safety and peace. A home where they are cared for and encouraged and built up.
I'm not always successful. Many days my mouth tears down, instead of building them up. My children and husband feel rejected and not accepted. There is turmoil and not peace.
However, when those times happen, I always go back and ask forgiveness. I hug them. I tell them I love them. And we move on.
Being a ministry family is hard. It can be stressful. It can be hurtful. So I work very hard at making my house a home. And that is one of the reasons I love being a stay at home mother, even though my children are older. I can easily get pulled in a thousand directions and my family starts to get pushed last on the list.
I want to be available to my family. I love making my husband's lunch each day. I enjoy doing the little things around the house to make it a place of beauty and rest (okay, sometimes it is chaos). lol I like being available to support my husband in ministry, such as fielding phone calls, going with him on visits, and just being a sounding board.
I like the fact that I'm not so tired at the end of the day, that I'm throwing a boxed dinner on the table. I enjoy being able to save a plate of food for Nathan because he is working during dinner.
My life growing up was not that way. My mother was a single mom who often worked 12 hour days to make ends meet. I was the oldest and responsible for whatever happened at home. So it wasn't peaceful. It wasn't fun. It was stressful. And I love my mother with all my heart. She did the very best she could so I don't want her to feel badly. But being responsible for a younger brother and sister when I was ten years old did not make for a happy life.
So I want something different for my family. I want them to know that it's okay to make mistakes. It's not the end of the world when they fail. It's okay to be a kid. They just need to know that I am in their corner and rooting for them. I want the best for them. I'm praying for them.
They need to know that the light will always be on for them!