Look at the Problem or Look for a Solution?

Edited to add:  I think God often has to use the middle of the night to get me to shut up long enough to listen to Him.  I've been getting responses back to my emails and have two people who have stepped up and taken a week each to clean the church so I don't have to do it at all or maybe just once a month.

Two other people have offered to do children's church and they actually are looking forward to it so that gives me two Sundays off each month. 

I have a couple of more helpers for our Summerfest event which we are holding tomorrow.  They are taking a booth that I was going to man.  That frees me up to do a different job.  Someone else offered to bring an item that I was going to have to get myself.

This is a good lesson to me to actually ask for help.  I'm often worried that I'll burden someone or maybe I'm worried they won't do it the same way as me.  Yes, I'm working on those control issues.  ;-)

Anyway, I thought I'd come back and update this post! :-) 

Well, it's 3:20 a.m. and I've been up since 1:30.  I woke up from some really bizarre dreams and knew immediately why.  I'm overloaded. It's not my husband or children.  It's church-related.

I'm wearing too many hats, and some of them major ones, and am starting to feel like I'm buckling.  I've asked for help for some of the jobs and have heard from only 2 people.  I'm not sure what to do.  What do you let go when some things are critical?  We are a small church so I don't have a large pool to draw from.  

And like all churches, we have a few people who wear many hats and some who don't wear any.  I don't want to ask those who are already playing major roles in the church.  I read a book recently that talked about the problem of small churches and how people want to come to church to experience God and use their passions for His purpose and this takes place outside the church. 

I agree, but the reality is that to have a church, there are roles that need to be filled.  Building upkeep and maintenance is necessary.  Certain things need to be done to keep things running smoothly.  Nursery workers and children's church teachers are needed.  Coffee has to be made by someone.  The bathrooms won't clean themselves! :-)

Who do you let down?  What about the things that I love doing, when there are multiple things?

Things such as:
  • The teenagers who asked me to do a small group with them?
  • The friend who wants to do a Bible study and needs it?
  • The children who have parents who bring them to church to learn about God and you are the absolute only person in the church who wants to work with children?  This means I'm missing the sermon every single Sunday.
  • My husband who relies on me for  the secretarial duties? 
And there is so much more.  I typed this all out and then took a deep breath and started to problem-solve.  I mean, it's easy to spend all my time and energy, listing the things that aren't right.  But that won't change anything, will it? :-)  I decided I'd rather look for the solution to the problem, rather than at the problem itself!

So, I sent a number of direct emails, instead of a general plea for help, and asked for help with a specific task.  I haven't heard back from anyone yet, because after all, it's the middle of the night and who else is awake?  lol  But I felt the tension melt off me, totally!  I just felt so much more peaceful.  I have a plan.  I prayed and asked God to bring people to mind.  I don't feel so alone. 

I feel sleepy!  That's always good because it means the cares have melted away. :-)

Comments

  1. Sometimes just writing things down and looking at them helps put them in perspective and makes the solutions more obvious. Hope you get some positive responses from your emails!

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  2. Praying for you - this is a really draining situation [been there, done that, in our previous church]
    --Praying that there will be positive answers to your emails.
    --Praying that other people will step up and offer to do things
    --Praying that somehow folk will realise they can support the pastor&spouse in ways which will free them to serve.

    It is hard not to get worn down and overtired and then become crabby and ungracious in this situation. Make sure that you and your beloved are open with one another about the frustrations. I am saying this as one who was awake for 3 hours last night wrestling with a church issue, and then most ungracious to my husband over breakfast. And it was not his fault. Fortunately he is wise, and patient, and after my rant was able to help me see a way through. I am sure you are handling things better than that - but at times it is good to speak out and ask for prayer support.

    God bless you, my friend. You ARE doing far more than you realise for His Kingdom - and He WILL guide you into the right roles, and give you peace about the tasks you have to lay down. Some times it takes a Pastor's wife to say "I CANNOT do this job any more" for other people to realise that maybe with a bit of support, they could take it on.

    love, and hugs xxxx

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for this encouragement, Angela. I know you understand totally! I appreciate the prayers!

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  3. The vast majority of churches that I have attended did not have a nursery. Young children stayed with their parents. If there were a nursery, I would expect the PARENTS of those children to take turns watching the children.

    You could also have a roster of ladies and gentlemen to prepare the coffee. If nobody volunteers for a particular Sunday, well sorry, no refreshments that day.. Some churches only serve refreshments once a month and somehow everyone survives. I've been to quite a few that never had refreshments!

    I have also never seen a church where the secretary and housekeeping staff were not paid positions.

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