Monday, June 23, 2014
I struggle to relax and just enjoy the moment. I've been like this from a young age. I think some of it was having the burden of responsibility of my younger brother and sister growing up while my mom was at work. I honestly feel guilty if I'm not staying busy.
Yet, I know that rest is important. Not just physical rest; but mental rest and yet, that is the hardest thing for me. My brain never shuts down. If I wake up in the middle of night, I can't get back to sleep for hours because my brain starts thinking. This happens almost every single night.
Every day is taken up with housework, crafting, cooking, soap making, cleaning or church work. I always have this heavy feeling of duty and responsibility and it can honestly be a burden. If I don't fill every single minute with some sort of "work" I feel lazy.
But I want to get better at learning to have fun. I want to be able to relax once in a while. That is exactly what happened yesterday. I had planned on getting into my weed-filled garden and work there in the afternoon. However, a couple from church asked us if we wanted to play tennis. Dan lives for sports so I said, "Okay." I figured I'd play a bit and get back home and weed.
Then I found out that they wanted us to come back to their house to go swimming, so I laid aside my "work" to enjoy an afternoon in the pool. And it was a fun-filled afternoon.
We played tennis (and oh boy, I hurt today), we swam, we talked, we ate dinner together and talked some more and we walked through the woods. I loved it! I felt relaxed. I didn't think about my to-do list. I didn't think about all the work I needed to do. I just enjoyed the moment.
It was definitely a good start!
This week I'm thankful for blessings #2101-2115
2101. Enjoying the numerous birds that visit my backyard.
2102. Words of encouragement from different people as they shared their excitement about things happening in the church. Dan has been preaching on gift-oriented ministry and using your spiritual gifts. It's been nice to hear from different people of all ages, about how much they are enjoying it and are actually excited to use their gifts.
2103. Praying together with a group of friends.
2104. Losing weight - 8 lbs. so far!
2105. Feeling energetic.
2106. Whittling away at a pile of clutter.
2107. Seeing our neighbors in church.
2108. Teens singing and leading the service.
2109. My beautiful, inside and out, daughter.
2110. Stephen, who is growing spiritually and preached yesterday. I was in children's church but heard from many different people that he did great.
2111. A fellow pastor who came to offer moral support and encouragement to our son.
2112. Nathan was made a permanent employee and is no longer considered temporary. . Whoo hoo!!!
2113. Beautiful, sunny days.
2114. The end of a successful school year. Emily's last final is today.
2115. Learning to relax