Thursday, January 8, 2015

Handle with Care

Women hold tremendous power in their hands.  Did you know that?  We have our husband's heart in our hands.  We generally are the glue that holds the family together and we are the ones that can make or break the atmosphere in the home.

As women, we can either bring joy to our households or discouragement and that starts with our marriage relationships.

Proverbs 31:10-12 (NLT) ~

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

Do you enrich your husband's life?  Does his heart trust you?  Are you bringing him harm or good?  How do we do this?

It generally starts with our words.  Do you tear him apart with your mouth?  Do you constantly criticize and find fault?  Or do you find ways to build him up and encourage him?  When you live with someone it is so easy to see the bad, the ugly, and the annoying things.  Yet, the more we point those things out, the more they become the focus.

Another way we can bring harm to our husbands is by criticizing him to others.  Do you run down your husband to your friends?  Do you find ways to point out all his errors?  Do you constantly make derogatory remarks in the name of "joking."  One thing that both Dan & I never do is talk badly about each other to our friends.  We've both made it a point not to put each other down to other people.

A third way that we can destroy our husband is by criticizing him in front of our children or talk badly about him to our children.  Our children watch the way we interact with each other.  They listen to how we talk to our spouse and they generally imitate us.  Do you bad mouth your husband to your children?  Do you constantly pick apart his bad habits?  Our children follow our example and generally what they see and hear will be carried over into their own marriages.

What are ways that you can bring good to your husband? 

The first way is pray for him.  Instead of letting the criticism fly out of your mouth, go to your knees.  Pray that the Lord will change those bad habits.  Constantly pointing them out will do nothing to change your spouse.  Only prayer and the Holy Spirit will do that.

The second way is to build him up.  Encourage him, both directly and to others.  As a pastor's wife I regularly hear criticism about my husband.  It seems to be part of the "job" that others feel the need to let me know what they think about Dan.  But I always, always build him up.  It's a tough job to have and there will be decisions he makes that people won't like, but he needs to know that I'm in his corner, rooting for him and not tearing him down.

The third way is to encourage him through your actions.  Is there something special he likes?  Why not do that for him?  One of the things I'm working on is cleaning up the clutter.  It really bothers my husband when papers are strewn all over the place and to be honest, it doesn't bother me at all.  I know exactly where things are in my piles but at the same time, there have been missed deadlines because I forgot about something.  So I'm working hard at that because I know it really bothers him.

Each husband is different and your household will not look like mine.  But the one thing we all have in common is that we are to encourage and enrich our husband's lives.  We need to work hard at making sure we are bringing good and not harm to our spouse. 

Can you say that your husband can trust you?  Are you handling his heart with care?