Thursday, September 17, 2015
Sometimes I struggle with my new role I seem to have now. Two of my children are adults; one is out of the house. Emily is 16. I kind of feel out of sorts. I've never liked transitions.
Last night, I was having a discussion with Dan about feeling frustrated about a phone conversation I had where someone was trying to convince me to take on a bigger role in something outside our church and district ministry that I didn't want to do.
Emily piped up, "I don't want you to do that." "I want you to be my mom!" Awwwww. That melted my heart because sometimes I think no one really needs me anymore. My kids are growing up/are grown up. My role in this church is so totally different than in the last one and my husband has a wonderful board he works with so I'm not really needed there. I don't have many who call me and ask me for advice, or anything at all for that matter, as they did in our other ministries. So at times, I feel like I'm a bit lost.
What am I supposed to do? Does anyone even care if I'm here or not? And those questions can make me spiral into an ugly little (or not so little) pity party.
It was nice to hear my daughter express that she loves that I'm her mother. She has commented a few times about how her friends like coming here because I'm here. She has told me she likes the fact that I'm home and care for her. She is happy that I can come to her matches. And that makes me glad I have an expressive daughter because the boys kind of grunt at me. lol
So while I know the Lord does have more for me and there is most definitely ministry I do here, for today I'm content with my role as wife and mother.