Night Terrors

Psalm 91 ~

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, "The LORD is my refuge,"
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

From the time Nathan was a toddler, he had night terrors. These are different than nightmares. They usually happen within an hour or two of falling asleep. They involve screaming out in terror, walking in his sleep, and then briefly waking for a moment or two and then going back to sleep. In the morning, he generally never remembered what happened.

These terrors generally end by the time a child hits 4-5 years old, but for him, these lasted far into his teens. Generally, when anything is stressful (like a move), they would happen again.  

However, I have discovered that he is not the only one with night terrors. Mine are of a different type, because they happen while I'm awake.  Many nights I'm plagued by bad dreams and wake up to have unwelcome thoughts playing over and over in my mind. 

My anxieties start to take over and I toss and turn. Thoughts such as...

► Will Emily be safe at school?

► How are we going to pay these bills?

► I have made so many mistakes as a wife and mother?

► What am I supposed to do now with my life?

► How are the spiritual lives of my children?

►Financial issues...church issues...family problems.

The emotions start to take over and I start to feel deep:

depression...despair...hopelessness.

Yet, I also know that these are just night "terrors".  Some are very real concerns, yet the intensity of the emotions are fleeting. I can't base my actions on how I "feel". I've lived long enough to know that in the morning things will seem different. 

I will feel:

energized...hopeful...peaceful...have faith that God is at work.

God is indeed my refuge and my strength. A never-ending source of comfort and joy. So when I face my night terrors, I turn to His word and prayer. I ask the Lord to help me focus on Him and not on the fear.

I'm glad that night terrors are fleeting and in the dawn of a new day I will find renewed strength and hope.