Celebrating Friendship

Being in  the pastorate is difficult at times.  People can be good friends until they get upset about something and then they either leave your church or want you to leave. Or other people are uncomfortable around you and avoid you as soon as they learn your husband is a pastor. It's always a bit of a lonely feeling to know that people are getting together for different things but you aren't invited because no one wants the pastor there to kill their party. And the funny thing is that Dan is the least killjoy there is! lol

As a pastor and pastor's wife, you really need to develop a thick skin and stay the course.  In a church of 50 people there will be any number of different opinions of what should be done and how it should be done and many are not shy about pointing out what you are doing that they don't like. It's the only job that I know where people aren't afraid to tell the wife what they think is wrong with her husband and the way he is doing his job.  

I don't always like it because my skin is not thick and words hurt. I've had people point out to me what they dislike about Dan and yet, I would never feel the need to point out to them what I didn't like about their husband or children. But people think it's okay to do that to the pastor's wife. Sometimes it is a way to indirectly communicate their message or desires to her husband. If things go wrong with the church and the pastor loses his job, his family loses their home, their community, and their church family.  And it is especially difficult on the children.

So I am always thankful when I have friendships that have lasted. I'm thankful for friends that I've had for years from our different ministries that have stuck with us regardless of what Dan does for a living. Some of these friendships have been from the churches we have served in and others are just lifelong friends.

I'm going out to lunch today with a friend who recently moved a bit further away and is no longer going to our church here because of driving distance. I miss her. She is one of those sweet encouraging spirits who rarely has a bad word to say. So I'm thankful that we have maintained the friendship and are getting together today.

I'm celebrating friendship today and I'm so thankful for the people who have remained friends throughout the years.