Tearing the Wall Down one Brick at a Time

My mother's heart is bursting this morning and tears have been in my eyes all morning since I opened up Facebook. 

My eldest son, Nathan, has multiple disabilities.  I've shared it here before.  Tourette's syndrome, multiple learning disabilities, and PPD-NOS (autism spectrum disorder). He also struggles with speech difficulties (apraxia), allergies and other health issues.  I'm never sure why God entrusted one person with so many challenges and Nathan struggles with this as well.  

Through the years, he has fought to overcome bullying, teasing and being misunderstood.  He has fought his own private struggles. It seems no matter how many times he is knocked down, he gets back up and fights through the pain and his good nature prevails.  

But he faces a monumental wall and it's not easy to tear it down.  But he certainly tries harder than anyone I know.

I recently felt such pain for him as he sent the local fire chief a text to let him know he was stepping down as a firefighter.  Being a fireman had been the one thing that helped him mature and grow through his struggles. But since moving here, it's been hard for him.  So very hard. It's a small community where everyone knows each other and if you didn't grow up here you are an outsider. And Nathan very much felt like an outsider on this department.

The State keeps adding more and more requirements to the volunteer firefighters and because of his learning disabilities, he struggles through the training. If his support system on the department had been better, I think he would have been fine, but he's fighting against that too. There are a couple of guys that are great, but It's not the same as in our last area and overall, he feels out of place. So he stepped down a few months ago and that made me sad.

But today, a huge brick came off the wall that holds him back.  It was a brick of secrecy and fear that others will find out his disabilities. He posted the following on Facebook and it was in response to his soft heart being hurt by people constantly spouting mean-spiritedness.  

Nathan said, 

I am going to tell this to all my friends. I struggle with all types of disabilities including learning disabilities. I have an IEP diploma which is considered lower then an high school diploma. I was in special education in school. I tried to get into a community college but I was denied because of my IEP diploma. I had to get a GED to get in.

It is very hard today especially for me because of my learning issues. I am telling you this because of some of you are upset about gun control which are man made objects. Maybe instead of being upset about that, we need to focus on disabilities in school and getting the people education they need!!!!

I am so proud of him. His fear and self-esteem are such huge obstacles to overcome and yet, he gathered the courage to share his heart.  It's a step towards tearing the wall down.  It's a step in his healing process. It's a step towards using the disabilities he has to help others.

That wall will hopefully topple one day and it's going to happen one brick at a time.