When God Wants You to Open Your Fist and Let Go

"Why can't you just do what I ask?", I wailed. As the words came pouring out of my mouth I could hear the desire to control in them. I winced. Once again I wanted to have things done my way. I want control, not because I want to be all powerful or be "the boss."  I want control because being out of control makes me lose the feeling of safety and orderliness. Being in control means everything is right with the world and there is peace in my soul.

But God didn't call me to a life of being in control. Everything that I do in following Him is about relinquishing my desire to be in charge of my life.  "Let go, be still and know that I am God." is what He says. That may mean the things that I deem safe and reliable are the things that I need to let go. 

Letting go means that I may lose something. Relinquishing my hold may mean that God has a different plan for my life than I have. It may mean that God is working in someone else and my holding tightly or trying to control is preventing God's work in their life. 

My daughter was in a minor car accident on Thursday morning. She was a passenger in the car and as they were turning left across a lane of traffic, a car coming the opposite direction hit the right bumper on the passenger side.  She has some bumps and bruises from the airbag, but is okay. But I was reminded once again that I have no control over anything. I can do everything I can to keep my family safe, but a random driver and crumpled steel can do damage in a second.

I was reminded that just the day before I had prayed that He would work in my children's lives, and that He would do whatever necessary to keep them grounded in Him. Perhaps that fender bender is part of His plan? If I hold too tightly, I can prevent even God from working.

So as I open my hands and let go of those things I tightly clutch, I do feel a bit of panic. But I also know that when I open my fist and let God take my insecurities, my gifts, my desires, my children, my friends and family that He will always replace them with good, good gifts. Gifts for my benefit. Gifts that will help me grow in Him. Gifts that will draw me closer to Him.

I know that I have no control over the wind, waves or seasons. But unlike what I believe at times, I also have no control over anything in my life. The bit of control I think I do have is just an illusion. But when the Lord sees that I'm willing to give up even that false control, it allows Him to work in my life. 

Psalm 46:10-11 (NASB) ~

Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold.