Comparisons

I come from a long line of women who are concerned about what others think. I remember my grandmother making comments about being embarrassed by something my mother did. And my mother still talks to this day about some goofy thing I did as a college student that mortified her because I did it in front of one of her friends. And I catch myself getting uptight when my children do the same thing. 

And you know what? It's exhausting. I view my husband and children through this lens of "what will others think about what they are saying, doing, wearing, etc." Our guest wanted to take a picture with us in front of our church sign. When I looked at the picture I got embarrassed and thought, "Why are they wearing those ratty-looking t-shirts while we are standing by the road?" I forget about the fact that they were just playing ball in 80 plus degrees. I ignore the fact that they are home and should be able to wear what's comfortable. I choose to ignore the thought, "Why does it really matter and who really cares what they are wearing?" 

I think women are more prone to worry about others' judgment, and are more likely to compare themselves to others. I view my children who seem to struggle with a variety of things and at times, compare them to other people's children who seem to be superstars. I start thinking, "What have I done wrong?" "Why aren't they further along?" 

Having a houseguest this weekend, and especially, a very encouraging one was a blessing to me. He reminded me of how wonderful my family really is! He came to me numerous times throughout the weekend and said, "You have a beautiful family." "Your boys are wonderful. They have been so kind to me." "Thank you for making me feel like a part of your family."

I want to stop the tendency I have to compare and filter myself, my husband and my children through other people's eyes and worry that we don't measure up. God looks at them and sees the unique way He created them. He loves them and wants to use them in a way that perhaps someone else wouldn't be used. I too, want to look at their gifts and strengths and take my eyes off their weaknesses. 

I'm so thankful that God looks at the heart. I'm thankful for these little reminders from time to time that help me in my own spiritual growth. And I'm so thankful that He loves my quirky family and uses us to further His kingdom.