What's Your Language?

-
Photobucket

We were chatting as a family after dinner last night and the topic of love languages came up. How do we show love and how do we receive love? It was interesting because the things we do to show love to others isn't always the way they feel it. 

The concept of there being love languages was introduced in the marriage book by Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages. He proposes there are five different ways to show and receive love: Acts of Service (Devotion), Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, and Physical Touch. The book was written for husbands and wives on how to create a better marriage, but I find it useful in many of our relationships, including our children.

Steve shared with us that the way he receives love is through words of affirmation and it was a lightbulb moment for me because I wonder how many times I give him what he needs? The answer is probably not enough. More often than not, I'm afraid I'm critiquing him even though I think I'm being helpful. He feels quite deflated and ready to give up at the moment, and I'm afraid at times I deflate him even more. 

I'm using him as an example, but I also need to think about Dan and Nathan and Emily also, and what their love languages are. I'm not going to meet every need but I certainly can do a better job of being aware of how my family feels and expresses love. Sometimes I'm doing things that reflect the way I receive love but that may not be another person's love language.

Having adult children living at home is challenging, no matter how temporary it may be. But as we are working through these issues, I am finding it to be a rewarding process as we continue to stretch, be challenged and grow together as a family.


Some questions for reflection: What is your love language? What is your spouses love language? Your children?

Comments

Post a Comment

I love your comments and encouragement! I can't always respond back but do read each comment.

Popular posts from this blog

Choosing Not to Kick the Cat

-
Image
The choices we make can either be good or bad. So many don't realize that even our attitudes and feelings are a choice. We have a choice each day to make that day one in which we will react to our circumstances or choose not to react. I can choose to let someone else's bad day ruin mine, or I can choose to not take on someone else's attitude. When Dan and I were first married we worked for a sales organization. I still remember listening to a motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar who was talking about this topic. He gave the scenario of a man being a work and having a boss that was berating him all day long. The man then came home and snapped at his wife. His wife, in turn, yelled at their son for a small infraction because she was upset. The son was now hurt by his mom and pushed his little sister. She, being the youngest, turns around and kicks the cat! Zig talked about making a different choice by not allowing others bad behaviors and moods cause you to respond in the
Read more

Oh What to Do; I'm Sixty-Two!

-
Image
Today is my sixty-second birthday and it's hard to believe I've achieved that....um....seasoned age! My first thought this morning was one of not being sure that I like it. However,  as I thought I about it, I decided to take joy in the fact that I've reached an older age. Because age comes with benefits. Benefit #1 - I'm a bit wiser.   When I look back at some of the decisions I made when I was younger, I cringe. With age has come the ability to slow down and think things through before I make major upheavals in my life. I've also discovered that getting worked up about certain things is just an absolute waste of emotional energy. Benefit #2 - I'm enjoying my life.   As I've aged I've learned all kinds of skills and hobbies and can honestly say that I'm never, ever bored. I love all the different things I'm able to do and it's fun! Benefit #3 - I've learned to appreciate my relationships. With age I've learned to work on developing a
Read more

Eating to Live

-
Image
  Despite the unexpected busyness and interruptions, I have been plugging away at my weight loss as well as writing the plant-based, whole food cookbook. Recipe testing fell by the wayside the past two weeks, but I've still gotten a good chunk of the book done. I also got on the scale this morning for another one pound loss which makes a total of 61 lbs. since I started this journey back in July. It's second nature at this point and I have so much more energy and feel healthy. The only negative is that because I've lost so much weight I'm seeing some sagging, crepe-papery skin happening. Yuck. Some of that is age and I need to figure out some toning exercises. It's definitely a life-style change, but a positive one which I'm so thankful I started on. The pictures above are a small selection of meals I've eaten the past two months and many of those will be included in the book.  This will be a printable e-book as I find that will be the easiest and most cost
Read more