Being Humbled


I've been challenged and stretched lately, and I don't like it. God has been showing my weaknesses in ways that are uncomfortable and make me squirm. I have been challenged in my studying, my reading and in conversations I've had with my husband and others. 

I often feel like I have a million activities and ideas buzzing around my brain, all vying for my attention. I have a number of different directions I try to go and I try to go those directions all at the same time. When that happens, I generally go nowhere and it's exhausting. 

And I have so many demands on my time, but often, those demands aren't anything God has led me to do. They are activities that others want me to do and because I am an enabler and feel guilty, I give in to those demands. But more often, they are demands that I put on myself because I see a hole and think I have to be the one to plug it. I know where God is leading me and what He wants me to do, but I get sidetracked running down bunny trails.

I'm thankful to have a husband who finally said, "Enough!" "Choose a direction and go that way." "Stop trying to do everything." "Why don't you pray that God will provide a person to fill that need instead of running ahead and doing it yourself." He has said that many times before, but this time I listened. I didn't argue. I didn't come up with excuses but took it to heart. And that's because God has also been whispering the same thing to me.

So once again, I'm pruning some things out of my life. They are all good things, but activities that can be filled by others and activities that while good, aren't the best for me. They aren't the things that God has called me to do and so, I'm working on staying focused. And the reality is that I do so many things and I do them well, but never really excel at any of them because I'm spread so thin.

Today is my day that I normally do my list of thankful things. Rather than make a list, I'm thankful for this one big thing that has been brewing in my heart and stretching me. I feel humbled today and even admitting it here is difficult to do. But I know that God is leading me and I am going to trust that it's for my good.

Comments

  1. Thanks for this post! You're not alone in the temptation to fill every gap, especially at church. I did the ennegram quiz recently, I'm a two, and one of the things about that type of person is they want to rescue everyone, or come up with a solution for everything. I'm doing trying to pull back as well, allowing the Holy Spirit to move in others to fill the holes in ministry. We have one Savior who rescues and can fill every need in our Church. And the name of the rescuer is not Jody. haha And the Lord is helping me, I'm at peace and this past year, maybe two years, have been so great, because I can say no and not feel guilty about it. Thanks again for sharing.

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    1. Hi Jodi, thanks for commenting. It's an ongoing struggle but one, hopefully, where I'm moving in the right direction. I gotta work on that tendency to control too. ;-)

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  2. Hi!
    I'm like you: I try to get everywhere and end up getting nowhere. And God keeps telling me what He wants me to do. This week, I finnaly listened and my heart felt so peacefull... Have a blessed week!

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    1. It's so nice to know that I'm not alone in this! lol You are right, it's such a peaceful feeling when we listen to what God tells us. Have a great week, Paula!

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  3. You and I jumped off the same star my friend, but you wishing to do more than you are able, plus your willingness to be kind and (getting taken advantage of) are the reason I love you and the Lord also sees your good works. Take care.

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