Multitude Monday: When all We Can Do is Let Go


Tightly gripped fists, trying to control each moment, each event, each activity and often, each person in my life. So often I say, "God is in control," but more often than not, it's Terri in control.

As I sit here day after day, waiting for my mother to pass, one thing is apparent to me. I'm not in control. There is nothing I can do regarding the circumstances that happen to me or another. I can't control the pain that another experiences. I can't control death or life or anything in between.

I'm not in control of the fact that my son did indeed receive a positive Covid test, or that I canceled Thanksgiving with my family to stay here with my mom and sister. I'm not in control of how long this is taking.

The only control I have is in my response to things that come my way. I can choose to react with anger and denial. I can choose to react with fear. Or I can choose to be at peace and to trust that God's timing is always best. That in the middle of hard times there are lessons that I need to learn. I want to rest in the truth that God is good and gives good things to His children. 

Today is Multitude Monday and the day I normally give thanks for a variety of things in my life. The main thing I'm thankful for this week is the reality that God is control of my minutes, days and years. That His plan for my life is a good one, even as I struggle with the details.

And I'm blessed in knowing that no matter how far I fall, He is there to catch me.

Comments

  1. I cried like a baby when I kiised my mother and told her to "sleep well". She died shortly after that. But I had grieved while she was dying so her passing was gentler in my heart. I wish you a soft landing when your mom finally passes. She's almost to the cloud line and will soon pass from view, but you WILL see her again. Sleep well, Mama Acklerley. Sleep well. <3

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  2. I am so sorry. I am thinking of you....

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