Time Keeps on Ticking

Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Time seems unending when you are waiting to be released from quarantine. 

Today officially marks the end of my ten days of restriction, but my plan is to not go anywhere for a few days more. I'm still feeling the effects of Covid-19, though feeling much better. My son and husband ended up testing positive as well and they still have another week to go.

I have had much time to think, pray and meditate. I've wrestled with some things, worked through other situations, and have a few revelations along the way. I finished a book and started another. I've kept in touch with family and friends via text, phone and email. I've taken numerous naps. I sewed a bit and took a couple of isolated walks. 

This morning as I spent time in prayer the thought occurred to me that quarantine hasn't been all bad. I've gotten more rest than I normally do. I've spent some quality time with my husband and son. I've slowed down and given myself permission to not do anything. 

More importantly, God has been teaching me that my only responsibility is to walk in faithfulness each day, and minister to whoever He places in my path that day. So often I think in terms of grandiose plans and large programming. I strive for success and making a difference.

Maybe the only difference God is interested in having me make is in how I treat my husband and children. The impact I will have is whether I was faithful in the small things. Perhaps, the only significance my life will have is whether I was kind and encouraged someone. 

Much of the activity that I find meaning in has been stripped away. I'm not really needed or have much impact in this church. My district ministry is not that significant. My role as a mother has changed and my children don't need me like they did. All the things in my life that used to bring me a sense of purpose have changed or disappeared. 

If I continue to look for my worth in those things, I will come up disappointed and depressed. But when I recognize that God is more interested in how I live my life in the small and unnoticed things, I will have a renewed sense of purpose.

Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. Time seems lighting fast when you are living your life waiting to released by God to daily serve Him.