As a child I was a lonely sensitive child. I came from a broken home with an alcoholic father and a mom who was struggling with her own feelings of being rejected. I was often ostracized by my classmates. I remember being snubbed, bullied and often left out. I have a memory of being chased by an emotionally disturbed young man who was threatening me with a knife.
I've moved past those bad memories, but there are times when they bubble up to the surface. There are times when I feel isolated from others and alone. Those are the times when I revert back to those feelings of being the unloved, unwanted and friendless little girl.
But those memories and experiences are the things that God has used in my ministry. I'm always on the lookout for those who are on the periphery; those people that others are ignoring or don't deem acceptable. I'm sensitive to how they may be feeling and try to include them in the conversation. I have hyper-radar when it comes to how others may be feeling.
I'm thankful for those hard memories and experiences because God is using them. I don't like when they rise up, but I am thankful that God has allowed me to use the hurt in my life to minister to others.
God often reminds me of how much He loves me. He reminds me that no matter how many times I'm rejected by others, He will never reject me. He allows me to take those hurt memories and remember that He has molded them and used them to change me into a woman who works to help others know how much He loves them.
And God will do the same for you. He can take the hurts and bad memories and if you allow Him to do so, can turn them into something good. Valentine's Day is often when we talk about love for our spouse or significant other. Valentine's Day to me is when I also remember God's extravagant love for me and the fact that His love is poured out on me on a daily basis.
Happy Valentine's Day!
What a beautiful, profound post, Terri. Thank you for sharing some of your history here. I can relate to what you've shared; different details, but very similar in how God has used the brokenness of my past to shape me into who I am now. I, too, am thankful for the ways God has redeemed all that pain and turned it into sensitivity to others who are in need of his grace. I miss you!! I would so love to be able to sit down for lunch and tea with you, as we used to do.
ReplyDeleteI miss you too, Melissa! Those times of tea and conversation are such sweet memories for me. I love that phrase you used, "God has redeemed the pain!"
DeleteI was very badly bullied as a child, and at home. Today I operate my own small preschool and anti bullying and teaching kindness is just as important to me as teaching the typical preschool skills.
ReplyDeleteIt's wonderful when we allow God to take that hurt and pain and shape into something useful. What a wonderful thing you are doing!
DeleteI love the Valentine's Ladies Luncheon . I have noticed , and like, the way Valentine's Day is becoming a celebration of friendship other than totally Romantic Love.
ReplyDeleteYes! And the past 10 years or so Dan and I have made it a family celebration rather than just the two of us. Now that we are semi-empty nesters we will have times of it just being the two of us, but we don't need a day for that. Personally, I just like it because it's a splash of color and celebration in the middle of long winters here in the Northeast.
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