A New Month, A New Season, New Determination

It's October 1st and I feel like my head is spinning from the previous month. September hit and my schedule went out of control. 

The month included designing a website for someone and spending hours on that. I planned a district retreat and spent hours in event preparation. I started taking a class for women in leadership that will also earn me 6 seminary credits and that involves reading multiple books and writing papers. The church programs started back up for the fall and I've been super busy on that front. Whew! Some days seem to whiz right by.

My website design gig is completed except for maintaining it, and my district retreat is over, so things have started to get back to a more manageable pace. 

Autumn is my favorite season and I'm loving the cooler temperatures and bright colors. Normally, I'd include the tastes and smells in that, but well...you know my woes in that area.

I've also had some time to reflect on some of my ministry activity. I truly have difficulty finding balance in my life. My mother was like that, and unfortunately, I have inherited the propensity to do the same. I have difficulty building margin in my life and am seeing the need to say, "No." "I can't do that." And saying no to people is such a hard thing for me, but if I don't, I end up physically, emotionally and spiritually depleted. 

I love to sew and create and am good at it. It brings me joy. A friend has asked me to bring some of my items to her new shop and I want to make some things so I'll have a good variety. And yet, I'm so busy running around doing everything else, that I haven't taken the time to do that.

I told my husband yesterday that I'm going to come up with a schedule and stick with it. So many hours for ministry "work", so many for sewing, studying, etc. And then when the time is up, it's up. Obviously, there may be weeks when the schedule changes. People who need to be ministered to take precedent over my schedule, but overall, I want to get a better rhythm to my days.

And I'm going to have to build in some margin for family. I'm always a bit envious when people say "no" I can't come to this or I can't do this because I have a family event. And they don't feel one bit of guilt about the "no". And then, my family gets pushed into the background because I feel I have to fill the hole. And that's on me. If someone cannot do a ministry or backs out of an event then I should just say, "We can't do it." This familial guilt that has been passed down from generations is a burden, and to be honest, a curse!

These are my wrestling thoughts this morning in this new month and new season. I'm working on developing a new determination to come up with a workable schedule, stick with it, and build in some healthy margin.

Onward and upward and Happy Autumn!