Be Who You Were Created to Be

Do you ever feel like you don't fit in? Like your personality, gifts, and the very essence of who you are is out of sorts with the rest of your circle? I feel like this quite often and when I allow myself to focus on people, I become self-conscious and feel lacking.

My husband and I had a disagreement yesterday about an event we were hosting at the church. To set this up, you have to understand our differences. 

I am an administrator and have gifts in leadership. Dan's gifting lies in mercy, hospitality and teaching. So when it comes to many of the services or events I tend to be the one organizing it and Dan is the one talking to people and making them feel welcome. He is on the alert to go to people who are new or on the periphery. He will be the first one to go visit someone in the hospital, nursing home or in their home. He has a way of making people feel very at ease around him. He is also a big picture guy. He has many ideas and a vision but struggles with knowing how to get it done.

I, on the other hand, excel at planning and bringing his ideas into fruition. I love to organize events and tend to the little details. I can take his ideas, come up with a plan and a step-by-step process to achieve his vision. It works well and our gifts really do complement each other well. 

The argument started when I was trying to make him do something in a way that he didn't want to do, more specifically, making him be someone he wasn't. I was attempting to force......er ask sweetly, for him to be like me. But when the dust settled and we got to the core of what I was upset about, it was because I thought there were going to be people there who thought we should have a more traditional role. I was worried about their opinion. I feared that they would think, "Why is she running this event and not the pastor?" To be honest, I was more concerned about other's opinions than the opinion of my husband.

My fear of what others think quite often is the root of my anxiety and irritation. Because I am not a traditional, behind-the-scenes woman I worry that people are going to get bent out of shape. I worry that they will think I'm running the show and that they will think less of Dan and less of me. And that, my friends, should not be.

God has created me with the personality, talents and spiritual gifts I have. My husband married me knowing full well what I was like and we are quite happy together. When I get my eyes fixed on others opinions and perceptions, things go awry. When I behave as the woman God created me to be, things go smoothly and my husband and I work well together. I don't do anything without his blessing. I'm not bull dozing over the top of him to get my way. I do ask his opinion and get his feedback quite often. And I certainly have no input into the sermons he preaches and his spiritual counseling of people. 

Dan said to me yesterday, "It concerns me at how worried you get about what someone else thinks." And he is correct. I need to embrace who I am in Christ. I need to get my eyes off the opinion of others and walk forward in confidence and be the woman God means for me to be.

When I do that, things work well. Yesterday's event went very well because I listened to my husband and I moved forward with his blessing, working in the giftedness that God has graced me with.

I don't know if you struggle in this same way, but if God has given you certain spiritual gifts, don't be afraid to use them. Keep your eyes on who you were created to be and walk forward without fear.