When we Can't See the Road Ahead

I opened the envelope from the doctor and as I read the report felt the knot in the pit of my stomach once again. I had requested my son's medical records from the neurologist who diagnosed him with Tourette's Syndrome and Autism Spectrum Disorder so that we can complete paperwork to help him get services he needs. As I read the report and the circumstances that had led us to this particular doctor, the realization of our daily reality settled in once again. 

For some people everything seems to be golden. They excel at all they do and things seem to fall into place. For others, life is a daily struggle and not much in their circumstances will change. And when that realization hits, it seems unfair. 

In the trenches of daily life it can seem as if I must have done something terrible to deserve this. Each day is a constant battle to not allow discouragement to set in or to feel totally helpless or at times, even resentful that my son's life is so difficult. When he is struggling with anxiety and depression it's easy to let his emotions overwhelm me.

I know some day I will see the big picture as God does and perhaps, understand the reason for hardship. But until that happens, I have to just keep moving forward and have faith that there is a purpose. 

That kind of faith is difficult for some. Some have rejected God because life is tough. Some are looking to Him to provide all the answers and when He doesn't, they come to the conclusion that He either doesn't exist or that He is cruel. I don't believe that. I am choosing to trust in the Lord who doesn't have to provide the why behind my circumstances.

That's not always easy and there are days when I struggle with hopelessness and anger, but then I get up, make the choice to trust and move forward. There will come a day when the fog will lift and I will see the big picture. But for now, I get up and follow wherever the path leads and trust that God will keep me from stumbling and falling.

Maybe you are struggling with doubt and anxiousness over unending struggle. I don't have any answers on whether it will change or not. However, I do know that God is walking with you through it and that He will provide all that you need to deal with your particular struggle. 

I can't see down the road, but I do know that God loves each one of us and has a good plan for our lives and that includes whatever we are facing. All we can do is just keep moving forward each day and trusting Him for the big picture. He will provide what you need for each moment and what He provides will be sufficient.