Introspection

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I've been doing a lot of introspective thinking lately and one of the things I've been considering is my work-play balance. 

My entire adult life has been spent in full-time ministry and I'm not quite sure what my life would look like without that. I've always been a bit of a workaholic and really struggle with slowing down and taking time for myself without feeling incredibly guilty.


When I do take the time out to do what I enjoy, I feel quite unproductive and as if I should have been working. So that bears the question, "When I do have more time for the simple pleasures in the future, will I actually enjoy them?" 

I want to say, yes, but I'm not sure. And even if I set aside the pleasures I want to do for my to-do list, the reality is that list will never be done. There is always something more to add to it. I can easily get swallowed up with work because work always expands into the time you have.


This year as I focus on my word, "connect," one of the things I've been trying to do is connect to myself. It's really easy for me to turn this whole exercise of connecting into one more thing to do. I don't want to rush this process, so I'm taking a bit of time each day to just be okay with stopping all work and doing activities that I enjoy and which rejuvenates me.


Some of those things are activities such as hiking, photography, crafting, sewing, cooking and baking. In fact, there are a host of things I love to do and have no problem coming up with ideas. I just have difficulty actually doing them guilt-free.


I'm learning to be okay to take some time out to connect to my creative side. In fact, when I actually set aside time each day to do the things I love, I'm finding more enjoyment in my ministry. When I allow myself space to relax and create, I have more energy for others.


You would think I should have learned this lesson by now, but apparently I'm a slow learner. This year is one of learning new things about myself, being stretched, and being okay to just be without "doing" 24/7. 

 
When I can disconnect for a time, my relationship with the Lord deepens. And that is because I'm slowing down to listen to Him and enjoy the gifts He has given me. I'm taking time to reflect and enjoy life.

And that creates a much happier and more thankful me!

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