Skating Through Life Together

Back in July, my daughter's maid-of-honor and I hosted the bridal shower for her. We had a toast for her and different people offered words of advice for her marriage. I shared the following and thought I'd share it here today. We are down to 5 days before the wedding - yikes!

Skating Through Life Together

Some say marriage is a 50/50 arrangement where both parties give 50% to the marriage. Then I’ve heard others say it’s a 100% arrangement, where you both bring 100% to the marriage.

However, I think marriage is more like figure-skating. It has always been one of my favorite sports at the Olympics. I love the gracefulness and beauty of the skaters and could watch it for hours. When a marriage is good, it is like those skaters gliding over the ice.

I came up with 5 reasons that marriage is like figure-skating.

1. The couples who skate at this level have chosen their partners wisely. They didn’t just pick the first person that came along. Figure skaters often take the advice of their coaches. They spend time talking about their goals and plans. In essence they date for a while before making the choice. They need to find someone who will be a good fit so listen to the wisdom of others. When you look for a marriage partner, you also talk about your goals and plans and will often listen to the advice of others.

2. In figure skating, sometimes one person leads on the ice and at other times, the other person takes the lead. But neither is threatened by the other’s leading in a particular situation. In marriage, sometimes one of you will take the lead on some decisions and other times, the other will make the final decision. But the key is trusting each other and communicating with each other.

3. Figure skaters are very in-tune to each other. They have to be because it can be a dangerous sport. You would have to trust the person who is tossing you into the air! In marriage you need to be in-tune to one another’s moods and likes and dislikes. In the beginning it may feel like you keep triggering each other, but the longer you are in relationship the more in-tune you are to your partner and the more you will intuitively know when something is wrong. 

4. Marriage is full of twists and turns and often, like figure skating, it feels like you’ve been tossed in the air and life is spinning out of control. And yet, when you have the right partner, you can trust that your partner will catch you when you are falling, and they can trust you will do the same for them. Difficult circumstances will happen in life and those are the times when you need to lean in to each other to help get you through it. 

5. Marriage is not a competition, but like figure-skating, you cheer when your partner does well and encourage them to be the very best they can be. You are a team and when one of you does well, it’s a reflection of both of you. Likewise, when something difficult happens to your partner, you find ways to support and comfort them during those times. 

Emily, you and Ryan are such a good fit for each other. Your strengths and weaknesses complement each other well and together you make a great team. We want to raise our glasses and toast you both today as you begin your skate through life. Your friends and family are in the stands and cheering for you both as you skate your way to Olympic gold!

Blessings on you both!