A Sweet Spot in my Week

At the very beginning of October both of my in-laws lost their drivers licenses. While this was a good thing, and necessary to keep other drivers and themselves safe, it has added a level of complication to our lives. They still have multiple doctors appointments, need to grocery shop, do banking, etc. 

As I was driving back from a weekend conference where I had been speaking about "Connecting", I clearly felt that I needed to do a better job of connecting with my mother and father-in-law. I needed to walk my talk. On the drive home I decided that I was going to take one or two days a week driving the hour to their house and help out. 

I started out with a feeling of dread and not really wanting to do it. My mother-in-law has Alzheimer's and every conversation is on a loop with the same stories recycled over and over in the course of a few minutes. My father-in-law is challenging and never stops talking and is very hyper. I love them dearly, but they are exhausting. However, I knew that it was the right thing to do and I was raised to believe that family is there for each other, even in the hard things.

I have spent the past five weeks going twice a week and getting them to their doctor's appointments, taking them grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning for them. When the weather allows, I stop at a local park and go hiking for an hour before I head home. That time hiking gives me time to decompress, exercise and clear my head.

A shift has happened as I've done this; I'm actually enjoying my time with them. I love cooking for people and it's been nice to see their appetites improving (especially my mother-in-law) as the weeks have gone on. My father-in-law is underweight and his blood pressure has been really low so it's been good to see him eating some nutritious food.

I'm enjoying helping them keep their house clean. They have difficulty with some of the deep cleaning and it's been good to have a regular routine going with that. I've enjoyed chatting with them and the past couple of times I've noticed my mother-in-law has been more alert and less about telling me the same stories. 

I've even gotten my father-in-law to stop coming out on the porch before I'm even out of the car and yelling instructions at me. I told him that I need a moment to get oriented and I'm never going to respond well to that. The past two times he has stayed in the house and waited for me to come in (and then he starts yelling instructions). 😂

What started out as a chore and only doing it because they have appointments, has turned into a sweet spot in my week. I told my father-in-law yesterday that I was still going to continue to come on Mondays even though they don't have appointments the next few. My sister-in-law has been getting them set up with a bus company that takes seniors to their appointments so they do have that option for the days I'm not there or if I cannot come due to weather. 

I am thankful though that I am able to do this weekly. I'm coming up on the 4 year anniversary of my mother's passing and I know how hard it is to lose a parent. So I want to spend as much time as I can with them even on the challenging days. Dan is headed out there tomorrow to take them to an afternoon appointment. 

I'm also thankful that as I started putting into practice what I preach that God has shifted my attitude and turned it into something that not only has blessed them, but has actually blessed me as well. My point in writing this is that sometimes the very thing we are dreading or don't want to do can be turned into a sweet thing in our lives. 

My desires don't always line up with what God has for me, but when I allow Him to help me do the hard thing, I'm often pleasantly surprised at how it ends up being a blessing.