Children You Want to Be Around
Proverbs 13:24 ~ "A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them. "
I always shy away on talking about disciplining children because I don't want people to think that I think I'm perfect. Believe me, I've made plenty of mistakes in my lifetime. Nor do I think my children are perfect. They are not and they mess up as well. But I felt compelled to share today and I'm participating in Loving our Children Tuesday at my friend Kate's blog (click on the link above).
I'm often complimented on how nice my teens are. And I usually agree with the person who is complimenting them by saying, "Yes, they are very good kids!" I think sometimes people think they are that way because they are easy going or because somehow by being pastor's kids they must automatically be born good. That always makes me laugh!
I know that the reason my kids are well behaved is because Dan & I have truly tried to live out this verse in Proverbs. We have tried to teach our children from the time they were old enough to understand that when we said something, we meant it.
All children are born with their own little wills. And they learn very quickly to try and exercise that will to get EXACTLY what they want EXACTLY when they want it! You don't have to teach a toddler to throw a temper tantrum. They seem to instinctively know what to do! :-)
But, the key is in helping your precious one to realize that the world does not revolve around them and their wishes. Not everything is going to go their way. They can't always have what they want. They sometimes have to hear the word, "No." And that one little word can change your little cherub's face into a contorted, reddened mass of wrinkles very quickly!
With our children we consistently stuck with what we said would happen if they didn't do what we asked. We were fair and we laid down the ground rules ahead of time. We always explained why something was off limits or why they couldn't do something. But they were not allowed to throw a fit. They were not allowed to argue back about it. They were not allowed to stamp and slam doors. We taught first time obedience.
I honestly think I may have had to punish my children only a handful of times when they were younger for disobeying. But because I consistently kept my word and stood my ground, those times were very few and far apart. The wonderful thing now is that my kids are nice people to be around. They are respectful to adults. They are kind. They are generous. They are likeable.
When I hear children arguing back with their parents or huffing and puffing or stomping off and slamming doors it always makes me sad. The reason is that the poor parents are usually angry, frustrated, and embarrassed. Their lives are not peaceful. Their lack of discipline ends up making their own lives so much harder.
Love your child by teaching them to listen. Love them by showing them the value of discipline. Love them by allowing them to understand that the world does not revolve around them. That they are not the center of the universe. Love them by teaching them right from wrong.
Your child will be happy, you will be happy and those around you will be happy! You will have children that others want to be around.
Very well said Terri!
ReplyDeleteMy mother in law said recently how she always admired how I carried through what I said. Though I didn't smack - I hate smacking.
I once sent my son to "sit quietly on the stairs and just think sbout what you have done to your brothers" I went into the hallway to find that he had called said brothers and they were all sat on the stairs playing trains and he was the driver - lol!!
Another time my three year old had a mammoth tantrum - on the floor - everything - in a shop - it was his first and last - I just stepped over hime and said "I'll be over there when you've finished" He was so astonished he just got up and followed me! On the way home I told him that I didn't like what he had done though I still loved him lots but we wouldn't be going to feed the ducks as I had planned as he would scare them. No more tantrums. I was a young mom and I was scared I wasn't doing it right so I read Toddler Taming by someone Green - it has stood me in good stead!
Parenting is just the hardest job in the world isn't it? They teach you how to breathe to give birth to them but then forget about telling you how to do the next 21 years!
L.x.
Terri, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT post! I loved the comment "they just came out good." I have been told over the years, "Well, your kids are all well behaved. You have no idea what it's like to have a strong-willed child!" And I wonder how, with 8 children I managed to do that?!?!?
ReplyDeleteYou guys did a wonderful job and this is a blessing to read about.
A very nice post, Terri! You have wonderful children. God bless them.
ReplyDeleteGod bless, Kathy in Illinois
Very nice, Terri. You and Dan can say you have a "success story" when it comes to raising your kids.
ReplyDeleteI think, nowadays, parents don't want to be parents to their kids....they want to be friends. It is much easier to give in to their wants then it is to take the time and energy to discipline.
My oldest son is a county sheriff and he got a call to go to a house where this man's teens were doing dishes. They kept hitting each other with towels and when he told them to stop they wouldn't so he called the law. My son walked in and told the man, "Discipline your kids! My mom was a single mom of four and we sure knew how to behave when she spoke up." The father of the teens threatened to report my son to his superiors and my son told him to go ahead.
I loved Lynn's story about her son on the stairs with his brothers. That is adorable.
A friend of mine had new twin baby grandsons and when I went to visit them and fuss over them their older brother hit me. Mom put him in the corner and he turned around and asked me (through his tears) "come be with me, Debbi." It was so cute. I will never forget his sweet little face.
You sure do know how to brighten up my days, Terri.
Love you, Debbi
Excellent Post, Terri. Your mother taught you well! LOL!!
ReplyDeleteLove Mom
Wonderful post terri. I have a son who was hyper active, it was suggested when he was younger he should go on tablets, this i was appalled at, i read everything i could, he came off all proccessed food, no fizzy drinks, no additives, but firm consistant boundries, and love,it took us years but he is 20 now and i couldnt be prouder, from a child we couldnt take out anywhere to a smart lad whos at uni, loves God and just wants to help people, he is chilled, the Lord at work.
ReplyDeleteGod bless sue