Reflections for Easter: When we Think we Deserve Better

I angrily filled the sink with soap and warm water and started banging dishes into the water. As I scrubbed and replayed the conversation over in my head, I could feel myself getting madder.

"Why do they think they can talk to me like that?" "I don't have to put up with this!"  "I deserve better!"

This was my self-talk after an argument with a family member. And the more I muttered to myself, the more self-righteous I became.

However, the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit began to whisper in my ear. I began to hear hard words of truth about my own sin. As I stopped the complaining and listened, I began to repent of my pride.

I open my Bible to the passage in the Gospel of John when Jesus is getting ready to eat the Passover meal with His disciples. 

John 13:2-5 ~ Now when it was time for supper, the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas, Simon Iscariot’s son, to betray him. Jesus knew that the Father had given everything into his hands, that he had come from God, and that he was going back to God. So he got up from supper, laid aside his outer clothing, took a towel, and tied it around himself. Next, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet and to dry them with the towel tied around him.

Jesus is about to be arrested, tried, and put to death, and He knows it. And what is His final act? To take on a servant's role and wash the feet of His disciples, including the one who was about to betray Him. 

Jesus didn't sit in a corner pouting. He wasn't angry and refusing to wash Judas' feet. He washed the feet of ALL of the disciples. Judas doesn't leave to betray Jesus until after the meal and Jesus knew that He what Judas planned to do. And He still knelt before Him and washed the dirt of Judas' feet and wiped them dry. He washed the feet that were shortly going to lead Jesus' enemies to Him.

Jesus showed such humility! He knelt down before the one  who intended harm. He chose to put others first. He deliberately set aside His own self to serve others. Here is the Son of God, on the day before His brutal death, giving us a picture of what it means to be humble.

When I read this passage I'm ashamed at how often I allow my pride to trip me up. I'm disappointed in how much I put myself first, and make myself more important than I really am. 

John 13:12-15 further says, 

"When Jesus had washed their feet and put on his outer clothing, he reclined again and said to them, “Do you know what I have done for you? You call me Teacher and Lord—and you are speaking rightly, since that is what I am. So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done for you."

It's easy to serve those who treat us well, who show us respect and love. But the example Jesus gives is serving those who are unlovely, unkind, and aren't deserving of our service. If we can learn to humble ourselves before our enemies, then we are following the example of Christ.

Before I get too filled with self-righteousness about serving those who aren't worthy, I remember that on a daily basis I show by my attitudes and actions that I don't deserve better either. I have been given God's forgiveness because of Jesus' humility and sacrifice on the cross. My sins put Him there. He took the punishment for my sin upon Himself. 

So no, I don't deserve better. I didn't get what I deserved! And because of my gratitude for Jesus' substitution for me, He deserves my best, which includes learning to follow His example and serve others.