Would Have, Could Have, Should Have

Psalm 5:3 ~

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
    in the morning I lay my requests before you
    and wait expectantly.

At times I go to bed and start replaying the day in my head. The problem with that for someone with my personality is I start beating myself up about all the ways I think I messed up or should have done this or could have said or done something differently. I spend precious hours on would haves, could haves, and should haves. It is such a waste of mental and emotional energy.

When the last thoughts going through my head is where I have failed or was lacking in some way I end up with bad dreams and restless sleep. Then I wake up in a discouraged and anxious mood.

I am working on going to sleep by praying and turning those would haves, could haves and should haves into a prayer of thanksgiving and asking the Lord to help me change some of that the next day. 

But on those nights when I forget to do that and do wake up in a mood, I'm thankful for the consistent time I set aside each morning to start the new day in His word and in prayer. When I spend time with the Lord, soaking in His presence and pouring my heart out to Him I come away re-centered with His peace and His grace and mercy. 

Last night was one of those would have, could have, should have restless nights. But as I spent time in the word and prayer this morning, I feel at peace and ready to face this new day.

I'm headed to a two day women's conference this afternoon with my books for sale as well as items from Mercy Market which is an organization that helps support people around the world. For many of these artisans, the money from the sale of these items is their sole source of income. Purchasing these products provides families an honorable way to provide food, shelter, medicine and other basic essentials for themselves and their children. 

I had their items at a recent retreat and was asked to bring them to this event. I have so many things I need to be doing, including putting the finishing touches on 6 messages for next weekend's retreat. So I really was wishing I hadn't agreed to do this. But I'm praying that I will be a minister of God's love and grace this weekend.

And I am waiting expectantly for Him to answer.